ninth.

princples learned:
1. fighting does not mean the relation is over. it is when the fighting stops that the relation is over.
2. the moment you start evaluating is the moment things start going wrong.
3. just because people aren't for us does not mean they are against us.

apply these princples:
be understanding! don't get defensive just because james isn't agreeing with me. he does hate me, he just has a different perspective than i do.

teach: to james

report:
james confirmed the fact that disagree doesn't mean he hates me (of course). we want to try to steer away from evaluation. we want to be able to be open enough that we don't have to make the other person evaluate because we'll be open from the start.