- 1. there are different levels of listening
- a. ignore
- b. pretend
- c. selective
- d. active
- e. empathetic
- 2. communication contamination
- a. when we listen we refer to our autobiography
- i. base what we hear on our past experiences
- 3. apologizing is a great thing for our eba
- 4. we have an emotional bank account
relevance to other areas:
as i learn these new concepts i cannot help but to think of my relationship with my fiance. when we are at a basketball game it is pointless for me to say anything to him unless it is half time. it is not that he is ignoring me, he doesn't even hear me. as for watching sports on tv, he definitely practices his pretending and selective listening skills. as for myself, i assume myself to be a great communicator just because i am not afraid or ashamed to apologize. however i obviously am not a great communicator b/c common sense tells me so, and because i know i often enter the state of communication contamination. i need to listen at the active level and not refer back to my autobiography and how i think a problem can be solved or a conversation ended.
personal application:
1. teach james that he is engaging only in the first 3 steps of the communication "listening stairs"
2. when i enter communications, try to stray away from my autobiography
3. when communicating with someone, i need to always strive to be at least at the "active" level
teach: to james
report:
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